Monday Morning Report: July 13

Today's report is all about the hilarity, which is the WISL meeting. Once every 6 months, the men's league commissioner, the iron judge Chip Terrill, runs a meeting with all the managers (at least the ones who are brave enough to show up), the referees, and the "field fund" comptrollers to discuss, debate and disturb. Last night's meeting was at the Green Turtle, and as in the past, it was full of smoke, gunpowder and machismo.

The evening started innocent enough with someone asked for a written statement for the "field fund." The WISL field fund was established in the late 90's to help the league get a permenant home. Great idea. But with the advent of the turf fields, and many, many legal wranglings with local municipalities, the ultimate goal of the fund has taken on many guises over the years. The fund now has >$400,000, but when it comes to getting a field, or even helping high schools get lights for their stadiums (so their football games can be moved to Friday nights, out of our way) etc., that money counts for beans. Last night's request for a revised, written mission statement went nowhere. That's 30" of my life I can't get back.

Then came the fireworks.

The infamous Ramon, who runs the Conquistadors, and who refs for the league, brought up the issue of a suspended player. The story was told about the game in which two players went at it. The foul-er may, or may not, have rushed the foul-ee, who may, or may not, have cocked a fist and taken a swing at said fouler. The A.R. saw the swing. Both were ejected, and the fister got a 5-game suspension, and the other, 3.

It all seemed quite calm, cuz it seems like one of the refs (i.e. Ramon) was asking the Commissioner to explain the heavy suspension, until it came to light that the fister was one of Ramon's own players and he didn't see the altercation! The request to start a judiciary committee or an appeal's court went nowhere, as the head ref for WISL defended the Commissioner and the investigation.

Next time Mumble gets rambunctious and gets karate-kicked off the pitch, or Georgie gets mouthy and yells at a ref, I'll worry that I have to tell the story in a Kangaroo WISL court!

The most ridiculous part of the night came when someone requested the regulation of the human spirit. A first-division team complained about the apparent unfairness of the relegation battle they face (season still not decided). At the end of their season, their opponents still fielded full teams, whereas the other team fighting relegation, had the luxury of playing teams that only fielded 8 players. How can you legislate against that?!

That led to a torturous discussion of the forfeit process, and the story about how a team had to forfeit because all their players were stuck in traffic behind a tractor-trailer accident. What has this got to do with relegation-safe teams fielding a "second-tier" squad? Nothing. But the whole topic was inane and ridiculous anyway.

So, the meeting ended with me regretting that I stayed sober for all of this. We paid our money for the fall and the field fund, and then got out.

The fall season will start very early this year, because Labor Day is unusually late. That means we need to get our new recruits all straight and uniforms all ready. And away we go....