Monday Morning Report: Alarm Clocks for Everyone!

You know how we have the "Farid Unit" that measures the distance by which our strikers are offsides? Well, we have a new unit now in AC D.C. It's called the "Peabody-Curtin Unit" and it measures how much time after kickoff our player wakes up from deep, nearly-comatose, often alcohol-soaked, slumber. Last week, Mumbs was 1 Peabody-Curtin unit late waking up, defined as 30" after kickoff. This week, Lindsay was 3 Peabody-Curtin units late, but swears she "didn't even go out last night." :)

I have determined that we are giving out alarm clocks this Christmas to all of our problem children. But seriously, it's frustrating for your captains and me to spend a week constructing a roster, and then have that roster compromised because players can't wake up. We cannot create the weekly roster, wondering whether so-and-so would be 4 Peabody-Curtin units late, so we had better call on someone else!

Now, on to the game. Sunday's conditions were difficult. Wet pitch, cold day. It was difficult to wake up on the pitch too, and we started the game quite lethargic. We've had problems with the Juggernauts before, as we lost to them twice last season. So, it was indeed fortunate that they were more lethargic than we were, and didn't get their subs to the pitch until well into the second half.

Our first goal was created by Morgan, who had her best game with AC D.C. today. Down the right she went, and planted a beautiful cross on the ground across the goal mouth. Brian, coming out of the left wing, tapped it in. After that, we had numerous chances, some of which (Peter! Paul!) were absolute sitters. Shankappotamus! Our finishing really failed us today.

The excuse I was given, was that the pitch was wet, and the ball was bouncing "funny." Boy, strikers can come up with some crazy excuses, can't they? At the interval, I used a phrase we often hear at work, "If you're going to piss on a snake, you'd better drown it." The implication is, of course, that the snake, if still alive, will come up and bite you in the arse. I had a feeling that our opponent was about to "wake up," and so we had better finish them off before they get the chance to hurt us.

In the second half, our senior striker, the master of the "Farid unit" himself, had several chances to add to the tally, but chose the most difficult opportunity to produce a goal. The ball was played through from the midfield and bounced awkwardly in front of Parham. Yet he was able to connect with it and put it in the net. With that, the game was won, and our defense locked it down.

We don't do "player of the match," but shout outs must be given to some stand-out performances: Anna for handling some scary back passes, Luis and Jen who played a great tandem, Morgan who had her best game, and Toussaint who was sober.

Next week, our men's squad will resume its season on Saturday in Germantown. AC D.C.'s first regular captain, Ben Nelson, will be in town for the weekend, and schedule permitting, may visit the men's game. The co-ed game on Sunday is WAY WAY WAY early. Money on someone (hm...who?) having alarm troubles again .