Monday morning report: May 3

Manager's reflection after 7 years of AC D.C.

When a "bomb" goes off in one's life, one has to let the dust settle before the assessment of real damage. Such a bomb went off for me about 3 weeks ago, and though I'm still picking shrapnel out of my body, I'm finally able to see the after-math.

In truth, the problem I had was with one player only, but while reacting in pain and anger, I had involved the whole team, which I regret. I retaliated like a human, and not a cool-headed manager. This club exists for sharing the passion of football with friends, and I question the loyalty of no one. I only ask that everyone be up front with their schedule conflicts so there are no unrealistic expectations.

The after-math tells me that I must detach myself from the club. I have become too invested, financially and emotionally, and everything related to the club has become very personal for me. This is counter-productive for both me and the team. This involvement was born out of necessity over the years. I took control of the club in 2003 because I thought better organization would make the team more fun. The team needed uniforms, so I designed a logo and made the first uniforms. The team needed a keeper, so I played in goal. The team needed players to fill in now-and-then, so I paid the dues of these occasional players. It needed a morale boosts, so I made parties. It needed organization on the sidelines, so I stopped playing and traffic-controlled the substitutions.

Gradually, my tasks that were to make the team fun, became chores that were distinctly not fun for me. In retrospect, I've been unhappy for many seasons, but now, I'm in too deep to extricate myself. The club has become my child, and despite how unhappy I am, I work for its survival. My compensation had been, once the club operation ceased in the summer, I can enjoy the company of my teammates without the burden of day-to-day chores. My friends on the team justified the work running the club.

The conflict I had with my teammate and friend 3 weeks ago was emotionally damaging to me. Although it was a team matter, it quickly turned into a deeply personal insult. A matter of schedule conflict became an issue of personal loyalty to me, and the pain was all-consuming.

Once I realized that, and now that the healing process has started, I know it's time to me to back off. Obviously, the detachment cannot be overnight and the delegation of duties, has to be carefully considered so everything still makes sense. This is what I intend to do. How this will work step-by-step is still unclear. Rest assured I will not hand the "keys to the kingdom" into the wrong hands, or allow the team to tear apart during this process.

Thanks for your support of our great club, and I hope we can continue to share our passion for football and our friends.