Monday Morning Report: June 15

- Reilly's return

- Playoff win, one nil to AC D.C.

- Team stench

Some people can't handle stress. Then, there are others who thrive on it, perhaps because of the thrill of it. I think that's why people choose a career in brain surgery....or manage AC D.C.

Despite trying everything to lose the game, AC D.C. co-ed was still able to avenge the defeat to DC Juggernaut during the season and advance to the semifinals. The disintegration of the roster has been well reported. Half of our regular team is currently out of town. And then, there was Kelley's birthday party Saturday night (Happy Birthday, Kelley). At the time of writing, we still don't know whether Lindsay is stuck in a ditch somewhere (update: she's texted in...she's alive!). Hannah and Kelley made it to the game, only to hear the final whistle 2 minutes after.

So, managing the quarterfinals today was thrilling, to say the least. Playing one woman short the whole game, we were nevertheless able to neutralize their attack. Robb had some world-class saves which kept us in the game. Our break-through came in the second half when a well-delivered corner pinged into the net for an own-goal. Luck has a way of going-around and coming-around. We've certainly had our bad luck in the playoffs in the past. This week, it was our opponents' turn.

With the result today, the co-ed squad advances into the semifinals next week on Sunday. We'll play "Half Time Orange Slices," the team with the giant goalkeeper to whom we lost in PKs last playoffs. Revenge? The roster problem continues, however. Robb is on vacation. Kelley is at summer camp. Peter is at the beach, which, curiously enough, in German is called "Der Strand." Mumbles is still fighting off native tribes in the Amazon who all want to eat him. And oh, Georgie is getting married. So, we have no "regular" keeper for the weekend. Or at least someone who has played recently. The veterans will remember a time when the penguin manager kept goal routinely, saved some PKs during the playoffs to advance the team, and even started a championship game between the sticks. I know my keeper uniform is somewhere in the attic...now, where could it be?

Word out on the street is that Mike Reilly is finally scheduled to return to D.C. in August. As one founder-forward departs (Jan may have played his last co-ed game today), another returns. Let's hope Mike's pleasure-travel schedule doesn't keep him away, more than his L.A. fellowship did!

Finally, many of you have complained to me that our team smells really bad. And there have been many conjectures where or from whom the stench has been coming from. I have the verdict. I found out the hard way that it is definitively coming from Jeffy's shinguards. Oh for the sake of Allah! I nearly passed out. I have bought him new shinguards not but a year ago, but like so many things I get him, he refuses to use them. Instead, he has to stink up the team, not only with his playing, but with that smelly fetid plastic. Please make him throw them away!

'til next week...